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Where do I stand: dating advice?
Met a lovely man who spends his limited free time with me. He says we are not in a relationship although we are intimate with each other. I am really falling for him but feel worried that I have got it all wrong. I don’t want to be heavy and demand that he’s mine but I am really into him. He asked me what i wanted from him and I said nothing. Should I have said something else. There is no long term prospects for us as his work will take him abroad in 3 years time and I am stuck in this country. Any advice most appreciated.
He told you exactly where you stand with him, and you turned around and lied to him and told him that you agreed, when you don’t. You were “intimate” with him before you were in a real relationship, another sign that you “signed off” on the arrangement, even though it isn’t what you want.
Quit lying to yourself about what you want and/or what you are capable of (you may well not be capable of having a sexual relationship with someone without developing feelings; most women can’t). Don’t confront him with this; it isn’t his fault and he was upfront with you. Instead, break it off, take a good, hard look at your actions, and find someone who is AVAILABLE (emotionally and physically) if a relationship is what you want.
I’m betting you have a history of being attracted to unavailable men. If so, you need to figure out how to break that cycle, which may involve some counseling.
Dating Advice Boot Camp Day 2: Love in 90 Days